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What to Consider Before a Marriage Separation

If your marriage is on the rocks and you are considering divorce, there are many things to think about before going through with a marriage separation. A separation is not something to be entered into lightly. The following items are just a few things to consider before entering into a marriage separation. Remember to always consult with a lawyer in matters of divorce and child custody.

Is There a Possibility of Reconciliation?

If there is a possibility of reconciliation, do not file for a legal marriage separation. You can separate on a trial basis and take time to think about what you really want. You should not begin legal separation proceedings until you are certain that you want to proceed with a divorce.

If you think you may be able to work out your differences, try a trial separation and seek marriage counseling. You may find that you can reconcile, or you may conclude that a legal separation and divorce is the best option.

Are There Children Involved?

If you have children, marriage separation must be handled more carefully. It is important that you and your spouse to not transfer your problems to your children. Discuss with your spouse the best methods for talking to your children about the marriage separation, and make sure you both understand that you need to choose your words carefully when talking to the children.

Discuss living arrangements, and make sure that your children feel comfortable talking to you about the separation. You must keep the lines of communication open in order to arrange custody agreements that keep everyone’s best interests in mind.

Are Your Finances in Order?

When a marriage separation occurs, you must make sure you protect yourself by removing your name from relevant bills, leases, etc., obtaining copies of records that you may need in the future, closing joint bank accounts, and settling any joint debt accounts. Review insurance policies for separation and divorce stipulations. This will help prevent future arguments and possible legal battles over money. Document any account balances or other details that you think might become issues in the future. Keep any personal family heirlooms or personal valuables in your possession.

Who is Moving Out?

When marriage separation occurs, a huge battle can begin over who is going to be the one to move out. If children are a factor, the children’s caregiver usually is the one to stay in the house with the children.

However, if you have no children, this decision can be tough. If you and your spouse cannot agree on who stays and who goes, it might be best for both of you to go. You can sell your house (or move from your rental property) and find other homes. Or, you can both stay in the same house for the time being and reside in separate rooms. Work together to find the best option.

Do You Need a Mediator?

If you are having a hard time communicating with your spouse over important matters such as living arrangements, finances, and child custody, you may want to consider hiring a mediator to help negotiate and communicate. Of course, in divorce proceedings, the courts will help end many arguments, but for the time being, a mediator may help move along your marriage separation more smoothly.

Have you Researched State Laws?

Many states have individual laws regarding legal marriage separation. Some states do not allow legal separation, while other states govern details such as child support and alimony during legal separation. Make sure you are familiar with all applicable laws in your state prior to making a decision about separation.