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The Marriage Ceremony

A traditional marriage ceremony may call for religious overtones, promises and customs that many couples no longer wish to include. Whether you choose a marriage ceremony that is in line with your religion or an imaginative, contemporary ceremony, the basics are pretty much the same.

The officiator often helps craft your marriage ceremony and offers guidance of one type or another. Additionally, the officiator usually performs the ceremony. Depending on the laws in your state and your personal preference, the officiator may be a priest, pastor or other religious leader; it may be your Great Aunt Suzie or best friend; or it could be a Justice of the Peace or some other licensed individual.

Music typically begins as the wedding processional begins. This may be the entrance of just the bride and groom or a very large wedding party. The officiator typically does not enter along with the processional but in the case of a friend or family member presiding over the marriage ceremony, he or she may enter with the rest of the wedding party. The officiator usually welcomes the guests to the wedding.

The wedding vows may be short and sweet or lengthy and include quotes from the Bible or other cherished book. Both parties make a promise. This promise may include the traditional “to love, honor and cherish” or more contemporary “to live, laugh and love”. There is no required promise or magic words to make a marriage ceremony valid. If you are looking for funny, off the beaten path vows, search the web for “Dr. Seuss Wedding Vows.”

The mother or father of the bride often “gives” the bride to the groom. This is usually preceded by the officiator asking “who gives this woman to this man?” This is not required and in recent years has become less common.

An exchange of wedding rings or some other gift usually follows the vows. You may incorporate your religious vows with the ring or gift or you may give it with the simplistic words “with this ring, I thee wed.”

The next step in a typical marriage ceremony is the benediction or community statement supporting the union. The officiator then sanctions the wedding and often pronounces or introduces the husband and wife.

Whether religious or contemporary, there is almost always the first kiss of the married couple. This can be a simple, short kiss or a long lingering one, depending on the personalities of the newly married couple.

A recessional, often accompanied by rice or birdseed throwing, follows the kiss. Be sure to check the regulations of the location of your wedding before ordering rice or birdseed, many facilities have banned these.

Before, during or after the marriage ceremony the bride, groom, witnesses and often a notary public must sign the wedding certificate or marriage license to actually become married.

Lighting of a unity candle or other unifying motion is commonplace in both religious and secular marriage ceremonies. A rose ceremony is the exchange of roses by both groom and bride. A wine ceremony includes the pouring of wine from two separate carafes into a single glass, followed by both the bride and groom drinking from the glass.

Circling is common in Eastern European countries. This tradition has the bride and groom circling the altar three times after they are wed. Hindu ceremonies require the bride and groom circle the altar seven times. There is an African-American tradition that incorporates a broom. In this tradition, the bride and groom jump over a broom that has been laid on the floor after the marriage ceremony is completed.