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The Marriage Ceremony
A traditional marriage ceremony may call for religious
overtones, promises and customs that many couples no longer
wish to include. Whether you choose a marriage ceremony that is
in line with your religion or an imaginative, contemporary
ceremony, the basics are pretty much the same.
The officiator often helps craft your marriage ceremony and
offers guidance of one type or another. Additionally, the
officiator usually performs the ceremony. Depending on the laws
in your state and your personal preference, the officiator may
be a priest, pastor or other religious leader; it may be your
Great Aunt Suzie or best friend; or it could be a Justice of
the Peace or some other licensed individual.
Music typically begins as the wedding processional begins. This
may be the entrance of just the bride and groom or a very large
wedding party. The officiator typically does not enter along
with the processional but in the case of a friend or family
member presiding over the marriage ceremony, he or she may
enter with the rest of the wedding party. The officiator
usually welcomes the guests to the wedding.
The wedding vows may be short and sweet or lengthy and include
quotes from the Bible or other cherished book. Both parties
make a promise. This promise may include the traditional “to
love, honor and cherish” or more contemporary “to live, laugh
and love”. There is no required promise or magic words to make
a marriage ceremony valid. If you are looking for funny, off
the beaten path vows, search the web for “Dr. Seuss Wedding
Vows.”
The mother or father of the bride often “gives” the bride to
the groom. This is usually preceded by the officiator asking
“who gives this woman to this man?” This is not required and in
recent years has become less common.
An exchange of wedding rings or some other gift usually follows
the vows. You may incorporate your religious vows with the ring
or gift or you may give it with the simplistic words “with this
ring, I thee wed.”
The next step in a typical marriage ceremony is the benediction
or community statement supporting the union. The officiator
then sanctions the wedding and often pronounces or introduces
the husband and wife.
Whether religious or contemporary, there is almost always the
first kiss of the married couple. This can be a simple, short
kiss or a long lingering one, depending on the personalities of
the newly married couple.
A recessional, often accompanied by rice or birdseed throwing,
follows the kiss. Be sure to check the regulations of the
location of your wedding before ordering rice or birdseed, many
facilities have banned these.
Before, during or after the marriage ceremony the bride, groom,
witnesses and often a notary public must sign the wedding
certificate or marriage license to actually become married.
Lighting of a unity candle or other unifying motion is
commonplace in both religious and secular marriage ceremonies.
A rose ceremony is the exchange of roses by both groom and
bride. A wine ceremony includes the pouring of wine from two
separate carafes into a single glass, followed by both the
bride and groom drinking from the glass.
Circling is common in Eastern European countries. This
tradition has the bride and groom circling the altar three
times after they are wed. Hindu ceremonies require the bride
and groom circle the altar seven times. There is an
African-American tradition that incorporates a broom. In this
tradition, the bride and groom jump over a broom that has been
laid on the floor after the marriage ceremony is
completed.
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