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Writing Your Own Marriage
Vows
Writing your own marriage vows may sound perfectly romantic
when planning your wedding. You may picture yourself speaking
eloquent words to your loved one while your guests tear up at
the sound of your beautiful thoughts.
However, once you begin to write your vows, you may find it an
extremely difficult task. It is often hard to put your thoughts
into words, and the pressure of your big day and speaking your
thoughts in front of your guests may make the task even more
difficult. You may find that all you can think of are cliché
phrases that sound exactly like the traditional vows that you
are trying to avoid. With the many wedding-planning duties, you
may even find yourself procrastinating and faced with writing
your marriage vows under strict time constraints. The following
tips will help you write marriage vows perfect for your big
day.
Write for Your Spouse, Not Your Audience
When writing your marriage vows, remember that you are speaking
to your future spouse, not your guests. You may be tempted to
include flowery words that you think your guests will find
nice, or use cliché phrases that you think your guest expect to
hear. You may also discard certain words because you do not
think your guests will “get it.” Remember that your vows are
meant to be a promise to your partner. If you want to include
something personal that your guests will not understand, go
right ahead. Write, as you would speak to your partner and
avoid sounding too canned or generic.
Add Your Personality
One of the advantages of writing your own marriage vows is that
you get to personalize your words and your ceremony. Take
advantage of the situation by adding your and your future
spouse’s personality to your marriage vows. Add a little inside
joke that only you and your partner will understand, or use
your favorite words to convey your feelings. A personalized
ceremony will be hard to forget.
Avoid Clichés
“I promise to love, honor, and cherish you” has been done too
many times. The reason you choose to write your own vows was
most likely to avoid boring clichés. Think about how your
significant other makes you feel and brainstorm. Write down
words, phrases, and thoughts, and then organize them into your
marriage vows. Speak from your heart and avoid sounding just
like the vows you intended to replace.
Read Them for a Friend
After writing the first draft of your marriage vows, perform
them for a friend such as your best man or maid of honor.
Reading the vows for someone will help you hear if something
sounds bad or cliché, and your friend will be able to provide
valuable feedback. Something that you think is appropriate and
sounds beautiful may sound horrible to someone else, or you may
find that your words are interpreted differently. Make sure
that you are conveying the message you want to convey. This
exercise will also allow you to practice the delivery of your
vows.
Memorize Your Vows
You do not want to read from note cards during your ceremony.
Even if you think you might be nervous and forget your marriage
vows, memorize them! It is better to pause and collect your
thoughts during your vows than to read your vows. If you whip
out note cards during your wedding ceremony, it will look like
you did not put effort into your task, or that you cannot
remember what you would like to say to your loved one. Memorize
your words, and look into your partner’s eyes instead of at a
note card.
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