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Writing Your Own Marriage Vows
Writing your own marriage vows may sound perfectly romantic when planning your wedding. You may picture yourself
speaking eloquent words to your loved one while your guests tear up at the sound of your beautiful thoughts.
However, once you begin to write your vows, you may find it an extremely difficult task. It is often hard to put
your thoughts into words, and the pressure of your big day and speaking your thoughts in front of your guests may
make the task even more difficult. You may find that all you can think of are cliché phrases that sound exactly
like the traditional vows that you are trying to avoid. With the many wedding-planning duties, you may even find
yourself procrastinating and faced with writing your marriage vows under strict time constraints. The following
tips will help you write marriage vows perfect for your big day.
Write for Your Spouse, Not Your Audience
When writing your marriage vows, remember that you are speaking to your future spouse, not your guests. You may be
tempted to include flowery words that you think your guests will find nice, or use cliché phrases that you think
your guest expect to hear. You may also discard certain words because you do not think your guests will “get it.”
Remember that your vows are meant to be a promise to your partner. If you want to include something personal that
your guests will not understand, go right ahead. Write, as you would speak to your partner and avoid sounding too
canned or generic.
Add Your Personality
One of the advantages of writing your own marriage vows is that you get to personalize your words and your
ceremony. Take advantage of the situation by adding your and your future spouse’s personality to your marriage
vows. Add a little inside joke that only you and your partner will understand, or use your favorite words to convey
your feelings. A personalized ceremony will be hard to forget.
Avoid Clichés
“I promise to love, honor, and cherish you” has been done too many times. The reason you choose to write your own
vows was most likely to avoid boring clichés. Think about how your significant other makes you feel and brainstorm.
Write down words, phrases, and thoughts, and then organize them into your marriage vows. Speak from your heart and
avoid sounding just like the vows you intended to replace.
Read Them for a Friend
After writing the first draft of your marriage vows, perform them for a friend such as your best man or maid of
honor. Reading the vows for someone will help you hear if something sounds bad or cliché, and your friend will be
able to provide valuable feedback. Something that you think is appropriate and sounds beautiful may sound horrible
to someone else, or you may find that your words are interpreted differently. Make sure that you are conveying the
message you want to convey. This exercise will also allow you to practice the delivery of your vows.
Memorize Your Vows
You do not want to read from note cards during your ceremony. Even if you think you might be nervous and forget
your marriage vows, memorize them! It is better to pause and collect your thoughts during your vows than to read
your vows. If you whip out note cards during your wedding ceremony, it will look like you did not put effort into
your task, or that you cannot remember what you would like to say to your loved one. Memorize your words, and look
into your partner’s eyes instead of at a note card.
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